Coping with the loss of a pet
Pets are our best friends, greatest loves, and closest confidants, so losing them to old age or illness can be absolutely devastating. It’s normal to feel overwhelming grief, with waves of changing emotions such as anger or sadness. Remember your feelings are all valid, and there is no ‘right’ way to grieve.
It’s important to seek support, and we hope that this guide can bring you some comfort and help you to process your loss.
How do you know it’s the right time to say goodbye to your pet?
Saying goodbye to a beloved pet can be one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make. No situation is the same, so it’s important to discuss your options thoroughly with your vet, as they’re emotionally less involved, so it can be easier for them to think what is best for the animal.
While you may feel everything is out of your hands it’s important to focus on what you can control, nothing must be decided right away, ask as many questions as you’d like, call your family or friends for emotional support and consider asking your vet if they could come to your home, so your pet can be more comfortable. It’s also important to decide if you’d like them cremated or if you’ll take them home to bury.
Tip to help you cope with the loss of a pet
- Take time to grieve – There is no time limit on when you should ‘get over’ your loss; however, long your pet has been with your family, getting used to not having them around can take time, and the length varies from person to person. Don’t compare yourself to others, and don’t feel guilty for how long it is taking you to come to terms with what’s happened.
- Be kind to yourself – You might feel physically and emotionally drained, so it’s important to take care of yourself during the grieving process. Try to keep to your routine and make sure to fulfil the everyday essentials such as eating well, getting enough sleep, getting regular exercise, and socialising. It might help to introduce a new sport, craft or hobby to occupy your mind.
- Find your support network – Whether it’s family, friends, or an online support group – speak to someone about how you feel and what you’re going through.
- Find a new routine – Having a pet, especially a dog, can give you a regular routine which is suddenly gone. It’s important to find a new routine, either by still going for regular walks or trying a new class or hobby.
- Have a memorial – Whether you hold a ceremony to bury or scatter your pet’s ashes, this can help you process your loss. Having a grave marker, whether that’s a plant, tree, or statue it gives you a place you can go when you miss them or if you want to reminisce.
- Monitor your mental health – The shock of loss can trigger mental health problems. While negative feelings are natural while grieving, if you feel they are out of control, speak to your support network or GP.
Tips to help seniors with the loss of a pet
For some older people, particularly those who live alone, the loss of a pet, especially a dog, can be exceptionally hard. The feeling of loneliness and quietness can take over, where having a dog gave them regular routine, exercise, and companionship. While you grieve, it’s important to take care of yourself, keep active, and reach out to friends, neighbours, and support groups.
While this is a deeply personal journey and a decision that might take a lot of reflection and patience, if the time comes and you find yourself deciding to open your heart to a new furry friend, rescue centres can be incredible allies. They will take your lifestyle, unique needs, and worries into consideration and help you to find the perfect match.
Tips to help children grieve the loss of a pet
The loss of a pet can be extremely difficult for a child as this can be their first experience of death. A regular term, adult use, such as ‘going to sleep ‘can be confusing as they assume their pet can wake up. It’s also important not to say they’ve gone somewhere or have been rehomed as they may think they have done something wrong to cause this, or that the pet might come back.
It's important to remember children learn from those around them, so it’s important to reassure them that it’s ok to feel sad and they will feel a range of emotions, which might be confusing to them. Make sure to talk about their feelings and make sure they feel heard.
To help your child manage their grief, make sure to get them involved in the memorial and find other creative ways to remember your beloved pet, for example decorating a photo frame so they can have a photo in their room, or they can draw pictures of the fun times they had with their friend.
Looking after the remaining pets in the household
When you lose a pet from a multi-pet household, the other cats or dogs can be confused and grieve as well. You may find they search for the other animal, whimper, stop eating, seem sad, or be more needy than usual.
Make sure to stick to their normal daily routine. Make sure to give them lots of extra positive affection and reassurance. They may be slightly more nervous without their walking companion.
It’s also important to keep them busy with extra mental stimulation, whether that be in the form of extra walks, games, or challenges. If your dog is social butterfly, it’s worth considering a trip to the dog park to meet some new friends. While this won’t fill the void, it does help to distract them.
It’s important not to rush into getting another friend for them, as they are adjusting similarly to you. If you are concerned about their behaviour after loss, consider contacting your vet, especially if they become more vocal, lose their appetite, or start to slow down.
When is the right time to introduce a new pet into your family?
When a beloved pet is lost, you may feel the need to immediately find another furry friend to fill the void. This is entirely your choice, however, it is important to mourn the cherished pet you have lost, to make sure you’re emotionally ready to handle a new pet.
When the time is right, it’s important not to compare. Remember that this new family member is completely unique but will bring an abundance of love.
How to support someone who’s lost a pet
If someone you know is grieving the loss of a beloved pet, make sure to check on them. Everyone grieves differently, so ask if there is anything you can do. Make sure to listen to them and give them time to grieve in their own way and on their own timeline.
How to deal with your pet’s possessions?
Toys scattered around the floor, a special blanket on the sofa, or their bed in the corner of the room, dealing with your pet’s possessions after their passing can be extremely emotional. It’s essential to take time to grieve and decide how you want to handle their belongings in your own time. Some people like to put them out of sight, while others take comfort from seeing them regularly. It’s important to take it at your own pace.
When you are ready to think about handling them, there are many options, some people find comfort from donating their beloved pet’s belongings to a rescue centre where they will be put to good use. Others prefer to keep certain items and create memorials or memory boxes, so they reminisce over the good times.